Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize