the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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