Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize