I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Text me some of your sweat
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize