It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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