if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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