return my video game
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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