called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize