Got a toothbrush?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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