it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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