That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
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hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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