Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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