i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize