no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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