Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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