I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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