my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish life had little blips of pornography
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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