Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
