found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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