I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize