Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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