Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize