have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize