thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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