sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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