I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize