I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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