The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize