I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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