CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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