I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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