I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize