Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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