in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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