Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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