did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize