How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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