my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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