Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
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