what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize