Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize