on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When are your genitals available?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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