Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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