Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I could make wine with my vomit
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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