Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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