Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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