Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
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This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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