come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize