Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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