this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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