are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize