we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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